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the bar chart illustrates the proportion level company which consumed social networking for business purposes from 2012 to 2016

the bar chart illustrates the proportion level company which consumed social networking for business purposes from 2012 to 2016 ew9BO
the bar chart illustrates the proportion level company which consumed social networking for business purposes from 2012 to 2016 it is clear that the data of the large company ranked the figure meanwhile that of the small business was lowest. Yearly, The number of small and medium businesses tended to increase and the rate of large business remained unchanged except for 2015. In terms of the first data, the number of large businesses which used networking accounted for 79% in 2012, and that stayed the same in 2013 and 2014. However, there was a sharp upward trend of the large business to 52% in 2015. Then, that was rose quickly which took up 80% in 2016 was the highest figure of the chart. According to the two figures, the percentage of small business made up 28% which was lower than the medium by 4% in 2012. There was a slight going up of the small business to 35% meanwhile the medium grew significantly by 18% in 2015. After that, both the data witnessed considerable falling to 30% in 2015. The proportion of small and business jumped steadily from 30% to 50% in 2016.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
bar chart illustrates the proportion level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which consumed social networking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
purposes from 2012 to 2016

it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the data of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
ranked the figure meanwhile that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
was lowest. Yearly, The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
and medium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
tended to increase and the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
remained unchanged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
2015.

In terms of the
first
data, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
networking accounted for 79% in 2012, and that stayed the same in 2013 and 2014.
However
, there was a sharp upward trend of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to 52% in 2015. Then, that was rose
quickly
which took up 80% in 2016 was the highest figure of the chart.

According to the two figures, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
made up 28% which was lower than the medium by 4% in 2012. There was a slight going up of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to 35% meanwhile the medium grew
significantly
by 18% in 2015. After that, both the data witnessed considerable falling to 30% in 2015. The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
jumped
steadily
from 30% to 50% in 2016.
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IELTS academic the bar chart illustrates the proportion level company which consumed social networking for business purposes from 2012 to 2016

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
193 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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