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The bar chart illustrates the number of Vietnamese adults of different age groups drinking more alcohol than the recommended intake on at least one day of the week in 2018.

The bar chart illustrates the number of Vietnamese adults of different age groups drinking more alcohol than the recommended intake on at least one day of the week in 2018. Moo8Q
The bar chart illustrates the number of Vietnamese adults of different age groups drinking more alcohol than the recommended intake on at least one day of the week in 2018. Overall, fewer women overdrank than men, and older people seemed to have less tendency to consume too much alcohol. As for people in their early adulthood, nearly half of males below the age of 44 had excessive alcohol use, followed closely by women whose age ranged from 16 to 24 with just under 40%. Meanwhile, females in the 16 to 24 age bracket were significantly lower than their male counterparts, with the percentage of approximately 27%. Regarding those older than 45, 4 out of 10 men aged 45 to 64 drank more than the recommended consumption, doubling that of women. The senior group was least likely to drink above the limit, with only 20% of males and a negligible 5% of females overindulging in alcohol.
The bar chart illustrates the number of Vietnamese adults of
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different
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age
groups drinking more alcohol than the recommended intake on at least one day of the week in 2018.

Overall
, fewer women
Possible spelling mistake found.
overdrank
than
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men
, and older
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people
seemed to have less tendency to consume too much alcohol.

As for
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people
in their early adulthood,
nearly
half of males below the
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age
of 44 had excessive alcohol
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use
, followed
closely
by women whose
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age
ranged from 16 to 24 with
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just
under 40%. Meanwhile, females in the 16 to 24
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age
Possible agreement error. The noun 'bracket' seems to be countable, so consider using: "brackets".
bracket
were
significantly
lower than their male counterparts, with the percentage of approximately 27%.

Regarding those older than 45, 4 out of 10
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
aged 45 to 64 drank more than the recommended consumption, doubling that of women. The senior group was least likely to drink above the limit, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20% of males and a negligible 5% of females overindulging in alcohol.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the number of Vietnamese adults of different age groups drinking more alcohol than the recommended intake on at least one day of the week in 2018.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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