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The bar chart gives information about citizens getting news on three different types of media by five age groups in 2011.

The bar chart gives information about citizens getting news on three different types of media by five age groups in 2011. a75V7
The bar chart gives information about citizens getting news on three different types of media by five age groups in 2011. It is noticeable that 18- to- 29- year- old people getting information on social media were the highest. In addition to this, people aged 18 and more primarily used radio to stay updated on the news, whereas adolescents preferred surfing social networking to catch up the news in the year 2011. Looking at the information in more detail, we can see that the percentage of the population who aged 18 to 29 year olds stood at nearly 25% as much as those of other age groups in using micro-blogging. Furthermore, that age group reading the news on radio and social networking were higher than other groups, merely over 91% and 80% respectively. The proportion of teenagers getting daily news on social networking was about 80%, whilst those of the older population were under 50%. Finally, while most of the elderly used the radio to stay updated on the news, with over 85%, the younger citizens used it just 40%.
The bar chart gives information about citizens getting
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news
on three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of media by five age
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groups
in 2011.

It is noticeable that 18- to- 29- year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
getting information on
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social
media were the highest.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 18 and more
primarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
radio to stay updated on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, whereas adolescents preferred surfing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking to catch up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the year 2011.

Looking at the information in more detail, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the percentage of the population who aged 18 to
It seems that hyphens are missing
29 year olds
stood at
nearly
25% as much as those of other age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
in using micro-blogging.
Furthermore
, that age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
reading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on radio and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking were higher than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
,
merely
over 91% and 80%
respectively
.

The proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
getting daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking was about 80%, whilst those of the older population were under 50%.
Finally
, while most of the elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the radio to stay updated on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, with over 85%, the younger citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
40%.
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IELTS academic The bar chart gives information about citizens getting news on three different types of media by five age groups in 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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