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The bar chart depicts the amount of money spent by two countries in 2010, and it measured in pounds sterling. Overall, it can be observed that the UK spent more money on consumer products than France.

The bar chart depicts the amount of money spent by two countries in 2010, and it measured in pounds sterling. Overall, it can be observed that the UK spent more money on consumer products than France. al5wX
On the one hand, people who live in the UK spent more money on cars (450, 000) than France (400, 000). Similarly, expenditure of books in the UK is over 400, 000 pounds sterling, while France spent just 300, 000. In the UK, in contrast to France, cameras were over consumed by dwellers as well as books and cars, they spent approximately 350, 00 but in France much less and it was 150, 000. On the other hand, residents of France spent more money on two consumer goods, as computers and perfume. For computers expenditure was well over 350, 000 whereas in the UK it was 350, 000. The amount of money spent by France on perfume (200, 000) exceeded money which was spent by France (150, 000)
On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on cars (450, 000) than France (400, 000).
Similarly
, expenditure of books in the UK is over 400, 000 pounds sterling, while France
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
300, 000. In the UK,
in contrast
to France, cameras were over consumed by dwellers
as well
as books and cars, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
approximately 350, 00
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in France much less and it was 150, 000.

On the other hand
, residents of France
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on two consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, as computers and perfume. For computers expenditure was well over 350, 000 whereas in the UK it was 350, 000. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by France on perfume (200, 000) exceeded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by France (150, 000)
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To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS academic The bar chart depicts the amount of money spent by two countries in 2010, and it measured in pounds sterling. Overall, it can be observed that the UK spent more money on consumer products than France.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
127 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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