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Some people think that advertisement on TV can be useful for TV viewers. Do you agree or disagree? Support your opinion with relevant examples

Some people think that advertisement on TV can be useful for TV viewers. Support your opinion with relevant examples kWK68
Some people believe that TV commercials can be beneficial and helpful for TV viewers while other thinks that it can leave a negative impact on mainly children. In my opinion, I agree that TV adverts can be useful for viewers because they provide good quality of information about the products. In this essay we will examine both views of statements. On the one hand, television ad-programs leave a positive impact on people who watches TV. Firstly, TV ads can be significant for particular reason that it raises awareness about beneficial products and their uses. For instance, when the COVID-19 occurred, only very few people had knowledge about it and the majority got to know about coronavirus by watching commercials raising awareness about it and telling the major safety precautions such as washing your hands, applying sanitizer, wearing mask and maintaining a distance of 6 feet in public. In addition to this, many viewers can have the knowledge of newly constructed apartments, buildings and houses for sale, new waterparks, restaurants and other attractions for entertaining purposes. Therefore, people who were looking for job opportunities can have a benefit through TV ads. For suppose, a new waterpark opened in the city about which many people didn't know about, visited to the place for entertainment purpose after watching that specific advertisement. On the other hand, TV ad-programs can be annoying if one is watching his favorite program, movie or show and suddenly an advert comes to the screen in between. Hence, it also loses the interest of the viewer and makes him angry too sometimes. Moreover, due to the advertisements watching movie at home increases the actual time of the show. To sum up everything that has been stated so far, considering benefits and drawbacks of both the effects, watching ads over television can help you gain knowledge about certain things and products.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that TV commercials can be beneficial and helpful for TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
mainly
children. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that TV adverts can be useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality of information about the products. In this essay we will examine both views of statements.

On the one hand, television ad-programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "watch"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
watches
TV.
Firstly
, TV ads can be significant for particular reason that it raises awareness about beneficial products and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
.
For instance
, when the COVID-19 occurred,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had knowledge about it and the majority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to know about coronavirus by watching commercials raising awareness about it and telling the major safety precautions such as washing your hands, applying sanitizer, wearing mask and maintaining a distance of
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
6 feet
in public.

In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
can have the knowledge of
newly
constructed apartments, buildings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for sale, new
Possible spelling mistake found.
waterparks
, restaurants and other attractions for entertaining purposes.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were looking for job opportunities can have a benefit through TV ads. For suppose, a new
Possible spelling mistake found.
waterpark
opened in the city about which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
didn't know about, visited to the place for entertainment purpose after watching that specific advertisement.

On the other hand
, TV ad-programs can be annoying if one is watching his favorite program, movie or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
and
suddenly
an advert
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the screen in between.
Hence
, it
also
loses the interest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewer
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him angry too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.
Moreover
, due to the advertisements watching movie at home increases the actual time of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
.

To sum up everything that has
been stated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, considering benefits and drawbacks of both the effects, watching ads over television can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you gain knowledge about certain things and products.
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IELTS academic Some people think that advertisement on TV can be useful for TV viewers. Support your opinion with relevant examples

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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