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The bar chart demonstrates people of the UK and France were spent money on different types of goods such as cars, computers, books, perfume and cameras in year of 2010.

The bar chart demonstrates people of the UK and France were spent money on different types of goods such as cars, computers, books, perfume and cameras in year of 2010. Q5p2P
The bar chart demonstrates people of the UK and France were spent money on different types of goods such as cars, computers, books, perfume and cameras in year of 2010. The scale is in pounds sterling. Overall, the UK is most popular in buying stuff among the goods except computers and perfume. While cars were most bought by people of the UK, computers were bought by inhabitant of France. To begin with, people of the UK spent money on cars around 450000 pounds sterling, whereas people of France spent nearly 400000 pounds sterling in cars. Furthermore, expenditure on books and camera were roughly 401000 and 351000 pounds sterling by consumer of the UK. Where, 300000 and 150000 pounds sterling were spent by habitant of France. However, money used for computers and perfume were 355000 and 200000 pounds sterling respectively by France people. Whereas, only 350000 and 1460000 pounds sterling were spent by the UK people, in 2010.
The bar chart demonstrates
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people
of the UK and France were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
money on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
such as
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cars
, computers, books, perfume and cameras in year of 2010. The scale is in pounds sterling.

Overall
, the UK is most popular in buying stuff among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
except computers and perfume. While
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cars
were most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the UK, computers were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by inhabitant of France.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
around
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
450000 pounds
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sterling
, whereas
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people
of France
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spent
nearly
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
400000 pounds
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sterling
in
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cars
.
Furthermore
, expenditure on books and camera were roughly 401000 and
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
351000 pounds
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sterling
by consumer of the UK. Where, 300000 and
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
150000 pounds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sterling
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by habitant of France.

However
, money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for computers and perfume were 355000 and
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
200000 pounds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sterling
respectively
by France
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Whereas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
350000 and
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
1460000 pounds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sterling
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, in 2010.
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IELTS academic The bar chart demonstrates people of the UK and France were spent money on different types of goods such as cars, computers, books, perfume and cameras in year of 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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