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the bar chart below shows the percentage of people who eat five portions of fruits and in the UK vegetables per day from 2001 to 2008.

the bar chart below shows the percentage of people who eat five portions of fruits and in the UK vegetables per day from 2001 to 2008. 6jW0
The chart gives information about the percentages of 3 groups(Men, Women, and Children) who ate vegetables and fruit 5 times a day in United Kingdom from 2001 until 2008. In general, throughout the years, women ate more fruit and vegetables than men and children. Alternatively, the groups of children ate the least amount of fruits and veggies among others. In 2002-2003, the percentages of women increased significantly by over 5%, whereas, the number of children & men who ate veggies and fruit remained the same number at 12% and 17% respectively. However, in 2004-2006 the number of children and men started to increasing gradually. While the women's reached its peak in 2006 by considerably more than 30%. On the other hand, in 2007 the percentages of women started to slightly decreasing. The group of men remained the same, although, the children increased and hit exactly 25%. Moreover in 2008, all of the groups decreased by 1-2%.
The chart gives information about the percentages of 3 groups(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children)
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
vegetables and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
5 times a day
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
from 2001 until 2008.

In general
, throughout the years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
and vegetables than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Alternatively
, the groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
the least amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
and veggies among others.

In 2002-2003, the percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
increased
significantly
by over 5%, whereas, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
veggies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
remained the same number at 12% and 17%
respectively
.

However
, in 2004-2006 the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increasing
gradually
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the women's reached its peak in 2006 by
considerably
more than 30%.

On the other hand
, in 2007 the percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
slightly
decreasing. The group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
remained the same, although, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
increased and hit exactly 25%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
in 2008,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
groups decreased by 1-2%.
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If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic the bar chart below shows the percentage of people who eat five portions of fruits and in the UK vegetables per day from 2001 to 2008.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
156 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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