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The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20-30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed,

The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20-30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed, Dllb7
The given below chart depict information of survey of a group of professionals age between 20 to 30 years who were questioned to the state individuals about which factors motivated them to succeed. Overall, it is noticeable from the chart that, the factors which motivated most per cent of people are personal satisfaction and ambition while the factor which motivated fewer per cent of people is fear of failure. As we can see from the chart, There are Eleven different factors that motivated people to succeed. The first factor is personal satisfaction with about 80 per cent and similarly ambition factor with same proportion 80 per cent. In addition, the factors family pressure and pressure from society with 70 per cent and 80 per cent respectively. while some other factors are rivalry and desire for material things found some about 50 per cent. Moreover, there are factors Money and peer pressure which are the same per cent of factors which motived to people around 44 per cent. The remaining three factors are fewer per cent of factors which motived nearly about 30 per cent these factors are Fear of failure, Envy/jealousy and feeling inadequate.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
below chart depict information of survey of a group of professionals age
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 20 and 30".
between 20 to 30
years who
were questioned
to the state individuals about which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivated
them to succeed.

Overall
, it is noticeable from the chart that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivated
most per cent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are personal satisfaction and ambition while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivated
fewer per cent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is fear of failure.

As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the chart, There are Eleven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to succeed. The
first
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factor
is personal satisfaction with about 80 per cent and
similarly
ambition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
with same proportion 80 per cent.
In addition
, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "factors'" or "factor's"?
factors
family pressure and pressure from society with 70 per cent and 80 per cent
respectively
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are rivalry and desire for material things found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
about 50 per cent.

Moreover
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
Money and peer pressure which are the same per cent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which
Possible spelling mistake found.
motived
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around 44 per cent. The remaining three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are fewer per cent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which
Possible spelling mistake found.
motived
nearly
about 30 per cent these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are Fear of failure, Envy/jealousy and feeling inadequate.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20-30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed,

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
194 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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