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The bar chart below gives information about vehicle ownership in china.

The bar chart below gives information about vehicle ownership in china. xdra
The given bar chart provide the information about the vehicle ownership by chines citizens from 1989 to 1999. The data shows the number of vehicle per thousand people. Overall, From begging to 1993 different type of motorised transportations increased rapidly during the last nine years of the given period. Vehicle ownership in this period increased steadily and it was far quicker after 1993. To begin with, In 1987 approx 300 thousand people stood. Then after two year it's up to 500 thousand people. In 1991, approx 900 thousand people are owner of the vehicle. Here, we can see that after two years the amount of vehicle is increased. It's up to 1000 thousand people per vehicle. If we compare all the three years, we can see that there a small number of change are accrue. In the end, in 1995 It's drastically increase up to 2000 thousand people per vehicle. After two year year it's again increase up to 3000 thousand people. In 1999 it's increased up to approx 4100 thousand people who are owner of the vehicle.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart provide the information about the
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vehicle
ownership by chines citizens from 1989 to 1999. The data
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shows
the number of
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vehicle
per thousand
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people
.
Overall
, From begging to 1993
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different
type of
Possible spelling mistake. 'motorised' is British English.
motorised
transportations
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increased
rapidly
during the last nine years of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.
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Vehicle
ownership in this period
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increased
steadily
and it was far quicker after 1993. To
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begin
with, In 1987 approx 300 thousand
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people
stood. Then after two
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year
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it's
up to 500 thousand
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people
. In 1991, approx 900 thousand
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people
are owner of the
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vehicle
. Here, we can
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see
that after two years the amount of
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vehicle
is
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increased
.
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It's
up to 1000 thousand
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people
per
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vehicle
. If we compare all the three years, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
are
Consider using a past participle here: "accrued".
accrue
. In the
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end
, in 1995
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It's
drastically
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
up to 2000 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
two
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year
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year
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it's
again
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
up to 3000 thousand
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people
. In 1999
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it's
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increased
up to approx 4100 thousand
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people
who are owner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below gives information about vehicle ownership in china.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
178 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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