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The bar chart and pie chart below show the number of icecreams sold by two and the contribution of total sales made by vendors different icecream flavour in 2015.

The bar chart and pie chart below show the number of icecreams sold by two and the contribution of total sales made by vendors different icecream flavour in 2015. gWkEL
The bar chart and pie chart illustrates the figure of Icecream sold by two traders and the contribution of total sold by made by different Icecream flavours in 2015. Overall, the highest icecream sold was in April and the salesman A sold more icecream except April. However, the highest contribution was Strawberry. In January both the vendors sold is about 170 and over 150. In April seller A sold is just under 250 and comparatively that seller B sold around 280 and highest sale in this month. In August traders sold about 170 and 130. In December, the vendor A sold more than 100 and Vendor B sell exactly 100. Looking at the pie chart strawberry was the most popular icecream flavour with over 36%. Vanilla and Choclates accounted about 26% and 22% respectively. While the butterscotch flavoured icecream is about 11% respectively. All the other flavoured Icecream made by 5% of the sales.
The bar chart and pie chart illustrates the figure of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Icecream
sold by two traders and the contribution of total sold by made by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
Icecream
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavours' is British English.
flavours
in 2015.

Overall
, the highest
Possible spelling mistake found.
icecream
sold was in April and the salesman A sold more
Possible spelling mistake found.
icecream
except April.
However
, the highest contribution was Strawberry.

In January both the vendors sold is about 170 and over 150. In April seller A sold is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 250 and
comparatively
that seller B sold around 280 and highest sale in this month.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
August traders sold about 170 and 130.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
December, the vendor A sold more than 100 and Vendor B sell exactly 100.

Looking at the pie chart strawberry was the most popular
Possible spelling mistake found.
icecream
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
with over 36%. Vanilla and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Choclates
accounted about 26% and 22%
respectively
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the butterscotch
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavoured' is British English.
flavoured
Possible spelling mistake found.
icecream
is about 11%
respectively
. All the other
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavoured' is British English.
flavoured
Possible spelling mistake found.
Icecream
made by 5% of the sales.
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IELTS academic The bar chart and pie chart below show the number of icecreams sold by two and the contribution of total sales made by vendors different icecream flavour in 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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