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the average time spend by patients in different age groups in nine countries

the average time spend by patients in different age groups in nine countries 1VxlG
This table gives information about the average time spend by patients in different age groups in nine countries. overall, while the time spent with doctors rises, the age increases as well simultaneously in most trends. In terms of France there is a noticeable difference between the youngest and the oldest in length of time of spending consultation. Although, Chile is the most time spender amonge another countries. About France the difference between the youngest and the oldest on spending time is more than double from 16 to 38. Besides the USA from 13 to 31 more than twofold increase, the UK from 9 to 21. Moreover, Italy 17 to 29. Chile has approximately steady climb from 32 to 39 minutes. Brazil experiences slight increase until 40-60 age group, then it goes down to 20 minutes for age 70 plus. India like Japan fluctuates from age groups. On the contrary, in terms of Kenya there is a minimal decline from the youngest to the oldest age groups from 15 to 10.
This table gives information about the average
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time
spend by patients in
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different
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age
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groups
in nine countries.
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overall
, while the
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time
spent with doctors rises, the
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age
increases
as well
simultaneously
in most trends. In terms of France there is a noticeable difference between the youngest and the
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
oldest in length
of
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time
of spending consultation.
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Although
, Chile is the most
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time
spender
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amonge
another countries.

About France the difference between the youngest and the oldest on spending
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time
is more than double from 16 to 38.
Besides
the USA from 13 to 31 more than twofold increase, the UK from 9 to 21.
Moreover
, Italy 17 to 29. Chile has approximately steady climb from 32 to 39 minutes. Brazil experiences slight increase until 40-60
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age
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group
, then it goes down to 20 minutes for
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age
70 plus. India like Japan fluctuates from
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
On the contrary
, in terms of Kenya there is a minimal decline from the youngest to the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
from 15 to 10.
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IELTS academic the average time spend by patients in different age groups in nine countries

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
170 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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