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The average monthly temperatures in three major cities

The average monthly temperatures in three major cities nNNGl
The line chart compares the statistics of temperature change throughout a year in three countries: Paris, Boston, and Melbourne. Overall, it is clear that Paris and Boston have a similar trend of weather changes, while Boston shows a controversial date, being hotter in the winter and colder in the summer. Regarding Paris and Boston, their monthly temperature in January was about 4 and 7 respectively, with the following a significant increase of the temperature to nearly 25 for Paris and just under 30 for Boston by July. While the weather in Parish does not change between July and August, Boston experiences the highest temperature in August, peaking at the highest point at about 33 grade. However, since August, the temperature starts to decline, showing similar figures for both cities in November, and even colder weather in December for Boston city. Melbourne, in contrast, has a maximum temperature in January, roughly 26, after which there is a consistent drop to July, where the temperature reaches its lower point at just over 15. From July, the trend shows a reverse pattern, starting to do up in the rest of the year and finishing at the same figure as in January.
The line chart compares the statistics of
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temperature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
throughout a year in three countries: Paris, Boston, and Melbourne.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Paris and Boston have a similar trend of weather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, while Boston
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a controversial date, being hotter in the winter and colder in the summer.

Regarding Paris and Boston, their monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in January was about 4 and 7
respectively
, with the following a significant increase of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
to
nearly
25 for Paris and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 30 for Boston by July.

While the weather in Parish does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
between July and August, Boston experiences the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in August, peaking at the highest point at about 33 grade.
However
, since August, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to decline, showing similar figures for both cities in November, and even colder weather in December for Boston city.

Melbourne,
in contrast
, has a maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in January, roughly 26, after which there is a consistent drop to July, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
reaches its lower point at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 15. From July, the trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a reverse pattern, starting to do up in the rest of the year and finishing at the same figure as in January.
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IELTS academic The average monthly temperatures in three major cities

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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