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The annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 to 2014

The annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 to 2014 O61ej
The line graph describes the average visitors’ expenditure on travelling to New Zealand between 1996 and 2014, additionally, the visitors who come from 5 countries independently. Overall, visitors from Australia spend much more than the others. Remarkably, the spending of visitors from countries in 2014 is greater than in 1996 except for Japan. Expenditure from Australians and Chinese reached a peak in 2005 and plunged in 2008. However, visitors from Kangaroo’s land always spend more than the others. Furthermore, USA travelers contributed to the New Zealand economy the most in 2010. Besides, UK spending experiences a tremendous climb which is a 100% increase from 1996 to 2012. On the other hand, Japanese contribution to New Zealand tourism stayed stable, which is compared in 1996 to 2014. Expenditure from Japan hit the highest point at more than NZ$ 1000 in 2002, however, it decreased years over years later. In conclusion, visitors from Australia spend the most money all the time, but the Chinese spend the least.
The line graph
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describes
the average
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visitors’
expenditure on travelling to New Zealand between 1996 and 2014,
additionally
, the
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visitors
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from 5 countries
independently
.

Overall
,
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visitors
from Australia
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spend
much more than the others.
Remarkably
, the spending of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
from countries in 2014 is greater than in 1996
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Japan.

Expenditure from Australians and Chinese reached a peak in 2005 and plunged in 2008.
However
,
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visitors
from Kangaroo’s land always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more than the others.
Furthermore
, USA travelers contributed to the New Zealand economy the most in 2010.
Besides
, UK spending experiences a tremendous climb which is a 100% increase from 1996 to 2012.

On the other hand
, Japanese contribution to New Zealand tourism stayed stable, which
is compared
in 1996 to 2014. Expenditure from Japan hit the highest point at more than
Possible spelling mistake found.
NZ$
1000 in 2002,
however
, it decreased years over years later.
In conclusion
,
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visitors
from Australia
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spend
the most money all the time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the least.
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IELTS academic The annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 to 2014

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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