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the amount of satisfaction of museum-goers, before and after the renovation of Ashdown Museum.

the amount of satisfaction of museum-goers, before and after the renovation of Ashdown Museum. p1V3d
Given are table plus pie charts providing information regarding the number of visitors, moreover the amount of satisfaction of museum-goers, before and after the renovation of Ashdown Museum. Overall, it is starkly apparent that after rebuilding, not only has the number of museum-goers increased but also the rate of their satisfaction has witnessed an escalation. When scrutinizing more rigorously, it inferred that the number of individuals who visited the museum has increased about 18000 persons after refurbishment and stands at 92000 annually. Meanwhile, the proportion of dissatisfaction cut into 5% less than half, about 15%. On the other hand, the levels of satisfaction increased up to 40% which is 10 percent more than before the renovation. The rate of very satisfied persons has progressed more than twice either. very dissatisfaction ratio dropped into half, while the percentage of no response has stayed constantly at 5%.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
are table plus pie charts providing information regarding the number of visitors,
moreover
the amount of satisfaction of museum-goers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after the renovation of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ashdown
Museum.
Overall
, it is
starkly
apparent that after rebuilding, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has the number of museum-goers increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the rate of their satisfaction has witnessed an escalation. When scrutinizing more
rigorously
, it inferred that the number of individuals who visited the museum has increased about 18000 persons after refurbishment and stands at 92000
annually
. Meanwhile, the proportion of dissatisfaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
into 5% less than half, about 15%.
On the other hand
, the levels of satisfaction increased up to 40% which is 10 percent more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the renovation. The rate of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfied persons has progressed more than twice either.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
very
dissatisfaction ratio dropped into half, while the percentage of no response has stayed
constantly
at 5%.
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IELTS academic the amount of satisfaction of museum-goers, before and after the renovation of Ashdown Museum.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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