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the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain

the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain XnqK8
The bar chart illustrates the expenditure on three different types of fast food such as hamburgers, fish and chips and pizza in people in different level of income. From the chart, it is clear that in a high-income group, 40 pence is spent on hamburgers a week, which is the largest among the expenditures on all the three types of fast food. This expenditure is also the greatest one in the average income group, but the amount of money spent is only about 33 pence a week, much less than that in the high-income group. As for the low-income group, the largest expenditure is on fish and chips, about 18 pence a week. The line graph compares the trends of the amount of three type of fast food consumed between 1970 and 1990. It is clear that the amount of hamburgers and fish and chips consumed showed an increasing trend, while pizza consumed gradually decreased from 300g in 1970 to 700g in 1985, before it grew to about 240g in 1990. The consumption of fish and chips overtook that of pizza and hamburgers in 1982 and 1988 respectively.
The bar chart illustrates the
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expenditure
on three
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different
types of
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fast
food such as hamburgers, fish and chips and pizza in
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people
in
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different
level of income.

From the chart, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in a high-income
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group
, 40 pence
is spent
on hamburgers a week, which is the largest among the
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expenditures
on all the three types of
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fast
food. This
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expenditure
is
also
the greatest one in the average income
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group
,
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but
the amount of money spent is
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only
about 33 pence a week, much less than that in the high-income
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group
. As for the low-income
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group
, the largest
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expenditure
is on fish and chips, about 18 pence a week.

The line graph compares the trends of the amount of three type of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food consumed between 1970 and 1990. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the amount of hamburgers and fish and chips consumed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an increasing trend, while pizza consumed
gradually
decreased from 300g in 1970 to 700g in 1985,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it grew to about 240g in 1990. The consumption of fish and chips overtook that of pizza and hamburgers in 1982 and 1988
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
188 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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