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students in four English-speaking countries

students in four English-speaking countries QLdRw
The bar chart and table illustrate how many foreign students are studying in English-speaking countries such as USA, UK, Australia and Canada in 2004 and 2012. The chart shows the numbers of students in 1000s while the table shows in percentage of total students. According to the bar chart, the greatest number of foreign students were seen in the USA with approximately 180 in 2004 and almost 250 in 2012 as opposed to Canada where the lowest numbers of students studied (more or less 50 students in the given years). In the remaining 2 countries, the UK and Australia, about the same number of students were studying there (considerably more than 100 in 2004 and around 200 in 2012). In comparison, the table shows that the largest percentage of students were studying in Australia with 19% and 24% in 2004 and 2012. The UK had 9% and 13% of total students followed by Canada. On the other hand, the USA had only 2% of total students in both years which is the smallest percentage. Overall, the chart and table show an overall increase of students in 2012 except USA where the percentage remains stable.
The bar
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chart
and
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table
illustrate how
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many
foreign
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students
are studying in English-speaking countries such
A determiner is probably missing here: "as the USA".
as USA
, UK, Australia and Canada in 2004 and 2012. The
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chart
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shows
the
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numbers
of
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students
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1000s".
in 1000s
while the
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table
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shows
in percentage of total students.

According to the bar
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chart
, the greatest
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number
of foreign
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students
were
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seen
in the USA with approximately 180 in 2004 and almost 250 in 2012 as opposed to Canada where the lowest
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numbers
of
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students
studied (more or less 50
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students
in the
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given
years). In the remaining 2 countries, the UK and Australia, about the same
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number
of
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students
were studying there (
considerably
more than 100 in 2004 and around 200 in 2012).

In comparison
, the
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table
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shows
that the largest percentage of
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students
were studying in Australia with 19% and 24% in 2004 and 2012. The UK had 9% and 13% of total
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students
followed by Canada.
On the other hand
, the USA had
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only
2% of total
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students
in both years which is the smallest percentage.

Overall
, the
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chart
and
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table
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
an
overall
increase of
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students
in 2012
A determiner is probably missing here: "except the USA".
except USA
where the percentage remains stable.
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IELTS academic students in four English-speaking countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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