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Statistical data of monthly rainfall on an average in two different cities

Statistical data of monthly rainfall on an average in two different cities lX9Mw
The table describes the statistical data of rainfall in inches on an average in two divergent cities. As per the data, Woodsville has seemingly more rain compared to Blacksboro. Firstly, the average amount of rain recorded in Woodsville starts to fall down rapidly from January till July with the numbers ranging from 5, 4, 3. 75, 2. 5, 1. 75, 1. 5, 0. 75 inches respectively. However, the same in Blacksboro starts to increase to 1 inch between January(3 inches) and February(4 inches). But the rainfall eventually drops to very low numbers ranging from 2. 5, 1, 0. 25, 0. 1, 0. 01 inches from March till July. February is the only month where these 2 cities coverage in the average rainfall(4 inches). Secondly, from August till December the values of rain on average seem to be surprisingly high from (1, 1. 5, 3, 6 and 5. 5) and November is the month high from (1, 1. 5, 3, 6 and 5. 5) and November is the month of highest rainfall recorded in the Woodsville area. On the other hand, a similar spike in rainfall is observed sequentially with values from 0. 04, 0. 25, 0. 5, 1, 2. 5 in the area of Blacksboro. To conclude, both cities contribute to an increase and a subsequent decrease in total rainfall. But the former place has more rain than the latter place.
The table
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describes
the statistical data of
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rainfall
in inches on an
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average
in two divergent cities. As per the data,
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Woodsville
has
seemingly
more
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rain
compared to
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Blacksboro
.

Firstly
, the
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average
amount of
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rain
recorded in
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Woodsville
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starts
to fall down
rapidly
from January till July with the numbers ranging from 5, 4, 3. 75, 2. 5, 1. 75, 1. 5, 0.
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75 inches
respectively
.
However
, the same in
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Blacksboro
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starts
to increase to
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1 inch
between January(
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3 inches
) and February(
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4 inches
).
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But
the
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rainfall
eventually
drops to
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very
low numbers ranging from 2. 5, 1, 0. 25, 0. 1, 0.
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01 inches
from March till July. February is the
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only
It is better to use 'month' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "month when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
month where
these 2 cities coverage in the
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average
rainfall(
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4 inches
).

Secondly
, from August till December the values of
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rain
on
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average
seem to be
surprisingly
high from (1, 1. 5, 3, 6 and 5. 5) and November is the month high from (1, 1. 5, 3, 6 and 5. 5) and November is the month of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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rainfall
recorded in the
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Woodsville
area.
On the other hand
, a similar spike in
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rainfall
is observed
sequentially
with values from 0. 04, 0. 25, 0. 5, 1, 2. 5 in the area of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Blacksboro
.

To conclude
, both cities contribute to an increase and a subsequent decrease in total
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rainfall
.
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But
the former place has more
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rain
than the latter place.
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IELTS academic Statistical data of monthly rainfall on an average in two different cities

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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