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Sources of student income over a ten-year period in the UK

Sources of student income over a ten-year period in the UK kemkM
The table depicts the changes which took place in student revenue from different sources over a period of 10 years from 1988 in the UK. Overall, the most significant general change was a shift from dependence on grants and parental contributions to independence in the form of loans and earnings. As can be seen from the table, student revenue from parental contribution which went down a half from 32% to 16% in 10 years. At the same time, there was a 24% decrease in grant, which fell from 38% to 14%. On the other hand, student got money from student loans and earnings which increased three-fold (from 8% to 24%) and doubled (from 6% to 12%) respectively. There was a gradual growth in the other sources from 24% to 34%. To sum up, the 10-year period from 1988/89 to 1998/99 witnessed an upward trend in total student revenue per student per year from 4, 395 $ to 5, 575 $.
The table depicts the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which took place in
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student
revenue from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources over a period of 10 years from 1988 in the UK.
Overall
, the most significant general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was a shift from dependence on grants and parental contributions to independence in the form of loans and earnings.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the table,
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student
revenue from parental contribution which went down a half from 32% to 16% in 10 years. At the same time, there was a 24% decrease in grant, which fell from 38% to 14%.

On the other hand
,
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student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
money from
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student
loans and earnings which increased three-fold (from 8% to 24%) and doubled (from 6% to 12%)
respectively
. There was a gradual growth in the other sources from 24% to 34%.

To sum up, the
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10-year
period
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1988 to 89"?
from 1988/89
to 1998/99 witnessed an upward trend in total
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student
revenue per
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student
per
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year
from 4,
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$395".
395 $
to 5,
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$575".
575 $
.
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IELTS academic Sources of student income over a ten-year period in the UK

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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