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some people think that home schooling is better for children while others believe that formal schooling is important for children in their younger age.which one do you think is better.

some people think that home schooling is better for children while others believe that formal schooling is important for children in their younger age. which one do you think is better. 5k7bP
A faction of people, all over the world, holds the notion that home schooling is better for juveniles, whereas others argued that formal schooling is vital for children in their younger age. This essay is in accordance with the latter view with manifold reasons to substantiate it. First and foremost, schooling assists the younger one to develop a good relationship with their peer groups. Moreover, school education helps the younger one to enhance their team spirits as well as moral values. In addition, learning various skills with the helps of primary education, that are not covered in academics. Extra curricular activities conducted in schools are the best epitome of aforementioned case. Furthermore, educational institutions impart the opportunities to learn with various people with in the class room. gaining various skills during their academic are the best example. Moreover, school education consist of well structured syllabus and time table which would boost their study routine. Also, well-defined syllabus helps students to understand necessities of their studies. In short, primary education helps the children to develop good relationship with their peer groups, enhance team spirit and moral values and so on. Ergo i strongly believe that school education is better for children for their overall development.
A faction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, all over the world, holds the notion that
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
is better for juveniles, whereas others argued that formal schooling is vital for children in their younger age. This essay is in accordance with the latter view with manifold reasons to substantiate it.
First
and foremost, schooling assists the younger one to develop a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with their peer groups.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the younger one to enhance their team spirits
as well
as moral values.
In addition
, learning various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
of primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, that are not covered in academics.
This word is normally spelled as one.
Extra curricular
activities conducted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are the best epitome of aforementioned case.
Furthermore
, educational institutions impart the opportunities to learn with various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
room.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
gaining
various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
during their academic are the best example.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
consist of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well structured
syllabus and time table which would boost their study routine.
Also
, well-defined syllabus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
students to understand necessities of their studies. In short, primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the children to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with their peer groups, enhance team spirit and moral values and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Ergo
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is better for children for their
overall
development.
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IELTS academic some people think that home schooling is better for children while others believe that formal schooling is important for children in their younger age. which one do you think is better.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
204 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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