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Some people think that alcohol must be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that alcohol must be banned. eAmXB
Although alcohol has contributed a huge amount of advantage to the development progress in some countries, there are a lot of consequences when people use alcohol. I personally agree with the opinion that its consumption must be banned and will explain some reasons in this essay. Drunk is the most popular cause which leads to traffic accidents all over the world. Alcohol stimulates the brain’s cells and makes people cannot control their emotion as well as realize their behaviors. If people join the traffic while drunk, their situational analysis ability can be reduced and lead to accidents. For example, the annual survey about traffic accidents in Vietnam illustrates that the proportion of accidents due to drunk is the highest, about 80%. In addition, alcohol also brings a lot of disadvantages to people's health. Excessive levels of alcohol consumption have been linked to liver disease, heart disease, and neurosis. People who drink too much alcohol are likely to suffer from depression and heart attacks. For instance, my friend was a typical student in my class, he used to participate in a lot of parties with his friends and use to much wine. After two years, he was diagnosed with heart disease, his studying result also dropped dramatically, his family had to use all their budgets to pay for the hospital’s bills and were in a tight corner due to lack of money. In conclusion, alcohol brings a lot of negative effects to people’s lives, and I think the government should publish some policies for people who use alcohol or ban it to reduce traffic accidents and improve residents’ health.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
has contributed a huge amount of advantage to the development progress in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of consequences when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that its consumption
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be banned
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons in this essay. Drunk is the most popular cause which leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
all over the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Alcohol
stimulates the brain’s cells and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot control their emotion
as well
as realize their behaviors. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
while drunk, their situational analysis ability can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
For example
, the annual survey about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
in Vietnam illustrates that the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
due to drunk is the highest, about 80%.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
also
brings a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of disadvantages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health. Excessive levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
consumption have
been linked
to liver disease, heart disease, and neurosis.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who drink too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
are likely to suffer from depression and heart attacks.
For instance
, my friend was a typical student in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to participate in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of parties with his friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Did you mean "too"?
to
much wine. After two years, he
was diagnosed
with heart disease, his studying result
also
dropped
dramatically
, his family had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
all their budgets to pay for the hospital’s bills and were in a tight corner due to lack of money.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
brings a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should publish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
or ban it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
residents’ health.

IELTS academic Some people think that alcohol must be banned.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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