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some people thik that the government should establish free library , and the other people thik that it is waste of money , people can access the internet at home to get information . Discuss both view and give your own opinion

some people thik that the government should establish free library, and the other people thik that it is waste of money, people can access the internet at home to get information. Discuss both view and give your own opinion gqlwl
some people thik that the government should provide free library, and the other people thik that it is waste of money, people can access the internet at home to get information. I discussed both views and give my opinion in ensuring paragraphs: -On one hand, people said that government should provide free library that is good for people. In modern era population is increasing day by day. Due to population there is lots of traffic, noise. In the noisy area, we can not concentrate on study and work. Moreover, there are poor people they can not afford study books, there are many types of books related to all of fields, story book, maps, newspaper, magazine, amd study books. Nowadays in library there are computer with internet connection. So we can use that for studying. If government provides free library in city so many poor students cam come and study. Also many old people love to read books they also can come at Library for reading booksOn the other hand, some people thik it is waste of money and everyone has internet at home. In thus case we know about the time of corona period that time we had to study online and that we could not go in library or collage. we had to learn online at home way a internet. Furthermore, in this case we use internet on computer and read book, that affect on eyes and sometimes we get bored and leave that. To Conclude, I thik government should provide free library other wise they should take small amount of money as a enter fee that fee they use in buying more books
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
thik
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
library, and the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
thik
that it is waste of money,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access the internet at home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information. I discussed both views and give my opinion in ensuring paragraphs: -On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
library
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In modern era population is increasing day by day. Due to population there is lots of traffic, noise. In the noisy area, we can not concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and work.
Moreover
, there are poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they can not afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
related to
Consider using "all fields" or "all of the fields".
all of fields
, story
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, maps, newspaper, magazine,
Possible spelling mistake found.
amd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. Nowadays in library there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "computers"?
computer
with internet connection.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that for studying. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
library in city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor students cam
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
they
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at Library for reading
Possible spelling mistake found.
booksOn
the other hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
thik
it is waste of money and everyone has internet at home. In
thus
case we know about the time of corona period that time we had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
online and that we could not go in library or collage.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
had to learn online at home way
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
internet.
Furthermore
,
in this case
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet on computer and read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, that
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on eyes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
that.
To Conclude
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
thik
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
library
Did you mean "otherwise"?
other wise
they should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of money as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
enter fee that fee they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in buying more
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
books
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IELTS academic some people thik that the government should establish free library, and the other people thik that it is waste of money, people can access the internet at home to get information. Discuss both view and give your own opinion

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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