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Some of people believe it is better for youngsters to learn a new language at primary school rather than at secondary school. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some of people believe it is better for youngsters to learn a new language at primary school rather than at secondary school. BJwJV
One of conflict of opinions in bringing up youngsters is when they going to learn a new language at earlier ages in primary school or at teenager ages in secondary school. In this essay, I am going to clarify the benefits and drawbacks of this belief. Nowadays most of the kindergarten put in their curriculum teaching the children a foreign language. Because in this age the brain of children was fresh, empty and steady to receive and save all information around them such as their native language, voices and all things their families teaching them their ability to store and restore easily help them to learn more than one language (mother language) with the perfect pronunciation due to strong listening skill. On the other hand, in secondary school adult was responsible for studying a lot of courses and learning new things or skills besides of time table for each course limited time that’s mean that the time of study day divided into the 6 or 7 courses on the contrary in primary school time table contains just 3 or 4 subjects at most. So, the ability of their brains spilt in different things in teenagers ages. All in all, I am totally agreeing with the opinion of learning children a new language at the earlier ages because it leads to bringing up a child to adult with valuable thing to himself as a foreign language or more than one, which something grateful, hope all families understand the idea and know that the best investment ever in their children.
One of conflict of opinions in bringing up youngsters is when
Did you mean "they're going", "they are going", or "they were going"?
they going
to learn a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
in secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In this essay, I am going to clarify the benefits and drawbacks of this belief.

Nowadays most of the kindergarten put in their curriculum teaching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
the brain of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
was fresh, empty and steady to receive and save all information around them such as their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, voices and all things their families teaching them their ability to store and restore
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to learn more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
(mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language)
with the perfect pronunciation due to strong listening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

On the other hand
, in secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
adult was responsible for studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
courses and learning new things or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
besides
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
table for each course limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that’s mean that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of study day divided into the 6 or 7 courses
on the contrary
in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
table contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
3 or 4 subjects at most.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the ability of their brains
Possible spelling mistake. 'spilt' is British English.
spilt
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
ages.

All in all, I am
totally
agreeing with the opinion of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at the earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it leads to bringing up a child to adult with valuable thing to himself as a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
or more than one, which something grateful, hope all families understand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and know that the best investment ever in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS academic Some of people believe it is better for youngsters to learn a new language at primary school rather than at secondary school.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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