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Report the flow chart of sweater manufacturing in a garment.

Report the flow chart of sweater manufacturing in a garment. PERAp
The flow chart illustrates the various stages involved in the manufacturing of sweaters in a garment. The process includes collection, distribution, knitting, linking, trimming, washing, ironing and shipping. Overall, the process is step by step beginning with the yarn collection and ending with the shipment. Whereas, repeated inspection is present along with various stages. Firstly, collected yarn undergoes winding and distribution and then knitting starts, where the inspection begins. Following this light checking and mending is done after the linking and trimming. After washing, labeling and ironing is completed button holes are made, again the product is inspected by the factory quality team. Last but not least final inspection occurs with the folded and packed product. Finally the sweaters are ready for the shipment.
The flow chart illustrates the various stages involved in the manufacturing of sweaters in a garment. The process includes collection, distribution, knitting, linking, trimming, washing, ironing and shipping.

Overall
, the process is step by step beginning with the yarn collection and ending with the shipment.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, repeated inspection is present along with various stages.

Firstly
, collected yarn undergoes winding and distribution and then knitting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
, where the inspection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
. Following this light checking and mending
is done
after the linking and trimming. After washing, labeling and ironing
is completed
button holes
are made
, again the product
is inspected
by the factory quality team.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
final inspection occurs with the folded and packed product.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
the sweaters are ready for the shipment.
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IELTS academic Report the flow chart of sweater manufacturing in a garment.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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