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producing electricity from a geothermal plant

producing electricity from a geothermal plant 73J9b

the diagram shows how geothermal plant power uses energy, and transform it into electricity. There is a total of five steps to done, and reach the desired outcome. first of all cold, cold water placed in a tank is pumped 4. 5 km down the ground, this water is heated by the help of hot rocks found underground. after that hot water is formed and pumped up into a condenser, which in turn will produce steam which will activate the turbine in a circular motion. finally he turbine will activate the generator, then producing electricity. this shows a summary of how the overall process of producing electricity from a geothermal plant is done.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterThe
the
 diagram This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :demonstratesportraysindicatesdisplays
shows
 how geothermal plant power This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploits
uses
 energy, and transform it into electricity. There is a total of five steps to done, and reach the desired outcome. This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".first
first of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :chillyfrosty
cold
, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :chillyfrosty
cold
 water placed in a tank is pumped
 4. 5 km down the ground, this water is heated
 by the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 of hot rocks found underground. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterAfter
after
 that hot water is formed
 and pumped up into a condenser, which in turn will produce steam which will activate the turbine in a circular motion. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?finally,
finally
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'he'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
he turbine
 will activate the generator, then producing electricity. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterThis
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :demonstratesportraysindicatesdisplays
shows
 a summary of how the overall
 process of producing electricity from a geothermal plant is done
. 

IELTS academic producing electricity from a geothermal plant

Academic

American English

1 paragraphs

113 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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