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Poverty is the reason behind crimes. Do you agree or disagre?

Poverty is the reason behind crimes. Do you agree or disagre? yLgmD
Many statistics show the top rating of the crimes occurred in poverty countries. We are talking about poor and developing economies located mostly undeveloped nations with a history of colonization. Therefore is relevant to point out there are two main factors that contributes for disgraceful scenario: social inequalities and less access to academic studies. Poverty is one of the consequences in the bad income distribution and it’s responsible for do not attend basic needs of human beings. In that context a plenty of people recur to ilegal ways to solve their problems committing a lot of crimes. Important emphasize the absence play role of government in these countries ruling the political public against poverty in the proposal to minimize that problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the top rating of the crimes occurred in poverty countries. We are talking about poor and developing economies located
mostly
undeveloped nations with a history of colonization.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
is relevant to point out there are two main factors that contributes for disgraceful scenario: social inequalities and less access to academic studies.

Poverty is one of the consequences in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
income distribution and it’s responsible for do not attend basic needs of human beings.

In that context a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
recur to
Possible spelling mistake found.
ilegal
ways to solve their problems committing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
crimes.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Important
emphasize the absence play role of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in these countries ruling the political public against poverty in the proposal to minimize that problems.
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IELTS academic Poverty is the reason behind crimes. Do you agree or disagre?

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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