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Pie charts: valentine's day gifts

Pie charts: valentine's day gifts wMxVq
The given graphs provide information about the different forms of presents that are bought by males and females on fourteenth of February in the US. Overall, what stand out from the graphs is that card, flowers and candy are preferred not only by men, but also by women. In terms of top gift, the card is purchased mostly among the others with respective proportion, at 18% of men and 27% of women. The second most common gift for such occasion are flowers, at 16% for gentlemen, at the same time the candy at 21% is chosen secondly by ladies. On the other hand, just over 10% of womenwould rather flowers, which is given as the most popular gift after candy, and conversely, candy at 14% is the third most popular choice of men. It is clear that regarding other presents, Valentine's Day cards are most preferred choice of both genders, men and women.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graphs provide information about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms of presents that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by males and females on fourteenth of February in the US.
Overall
, what stand out from the graphs is that card, flowers and
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candy
are preferred
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
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men
,
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but
also
by women. In terms of top gift, the card is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
mostly
among the others with respective proportion, at 18% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and 27% of women. The second most common gift for such occasion are flowers, at 16% for gentlemen, at the same time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candy
at 21%
is chosen
secondly
by ladies.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10% of
Possible spelling mistake found.
womenwould
rather
flowers, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
as the most popular gift after
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candy
, and
conversely
,
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candy
at 14% is the third most popular choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that regarding other presents, Valentine's Day cards are most preferred choice of both genders,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women.

IELTS academic Pie charts: valentine's day gifts

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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