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describe diagram of THERMOS FLASK process

describe diagram of THERMOS FLASK process EqNaR
The diagram below illustrates how an airbag works in a car. In general, the process includes 3 steps which begins with a crash sensor and ends with nitrogen gas that is expanded in the airbag. Airbag is a bag coated with talcum powder. Its flexibility and elasticity help drivers avoid being damaged in dangerous situations such as car crashes, broken braking systems that lead to uncontrolled speed of vehicles, … Firstly, the airbag is flattened in the car dashboard. A crash sensor placed in the front of the car has the function of recognizing the danger that will happen to the car. After the recognition, it will activate an inflator by 16-24km/hr force. Then, the inflator expands the nitrogen gas into the bag immediately at 320 km/hr to pump the airbag. Finally, the airbag will be inflated and be flexible enough to prevent the driver from being injured by the accident.
The diagram below illustrates how an airbag works in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
In general
, the process includes 3 steps which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with a crash sensor and ends with nitrogen gas that
is expanded
in the airbag.

Airbag is a bag coated with talcum powder. Its flexibility and elasticity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
drivers avoid
being damaged
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situations such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
crashes, broken braking systems that lead to uncontrolled speed of vehicles, …

Firstly
, the airbag
is flattened
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
dashboard. A crash sensor placed in the front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has the function of recognizing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
that will happen to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. After the recognition, it will activate an
Possible spelling mistake found.
inflator
by 16
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "-24 km"
-24km
/hr force. Then, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
inflator
expands the nitrogen gas into the bag immediately at 320 km/hr to pump the airbag.
Finally
, the airbag will
be inflated
and be flexible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the driver from
being injured
by the accident.
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IELTS academic describe diagram of THERMOS FLASK process

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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