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Pie chart main source of energy for USA

Pie chart main source of energy for USA eEeAO
The given two pie charts provide the information about power sources which has been utilised in America for 10 years. Overall, it is explicitly observed in the figures that natural gas was most significant by USA community whereas hydroelectric power was least significant due to less purpose of it. Getting back to the details, there was only 1% difference in 10 years regarding consumption of natural gas. However, in 1980 coal demands were just about 22%, by following long period till 1990 it rose by 5% as industrial sectors required it more for their work production. Further, charts revealed hydroelectric power exploit data that it was stable from 1980 to 1990 because USA have numerous dams to generate electricity. Probing further, it seemed by percentage ratio that oil was the second highest natural resource which had been used around 45% respectively in the earlier time but later that ratio gets dwindled based on utilisation by united states masses. Last but not the least, brought nuclear power in the society was good attempt to produce electric power in 1980 and that nuclear experimental increased their own capacity by 5% more than before to attain superior outcomes in manufacturing.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
two pie charts provide the information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
sources which has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
in America for 10 years.

Overall
, it is
explicitly
observed in the figures that natural gas was most significant by USA community whereas hydroelectric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
significant due to less purpose of it.

Getting back to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% difference in 10 years regarding consumption of natural gas.
However
, in 1980 coal demands were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 22%, by following long period till 1990 it rose by 5% as industrial sectors required it more for their work production.
Further
, charts revealed hydroelectric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
exploit data that it was stable from 1980 to 1990
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
USA have numerous dams to generate electricity.

Probing
further
, it seemed by percentage ratio that oil was the second highest natural resource which had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
around 45%
respectively
in the earlier time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later that ratio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
dwindled based on
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
by
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
united states
masses. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, brought nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in the society was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attempt to produce electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in 1980 and that nuclear experimental increased their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
capacity by 5% more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to attain superior outcomes in manufacturing.
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IELTS academic Pie chart main source of energy for USA

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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