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Number of male and female participants in the Olympics

Number of male and female participants in the Olympics WmDRe
The two charts give information about the gender and number of athletes who have entered the Games since they started. The bar chart illustrates the number of men and women entering the Games, whereas the line graph shows the number of participants. It is evident from the bar chart that, until 2012, there were always significantly more men entering the Games than women. In 1924 and 1952, there were hardly any women entering the Games, yet in 1952 there were over 4, 000 male participants. In 2012, however, the number of female athletes rose significantly to nearly 5, 000, only approximately 1, 000 lower than male participants. The line graph shows a similar trend, with the number of participants increasing throughout the century. The most significant increase occurred between 1984 and 2012, when the number of athletes rose from just over 6, 000 to over 10, 000 in 2012. To summarise therefore, since 1924 the number of athletes entering the Olympic Games, has increased dramatically. This is particularly the case for women, who are now represented in nearly the same numbers as male participants.
The two charts give information about the gender and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
who have entered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
. The bar chart illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entering
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
, whereas the line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of participants.

It is evident from the bar chart that, until 2012, there were always
significantly
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entering
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. In 1924 and 1952, there were hardly any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entering
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
,
yet
in 1952 there were over 4, 000 male participants. In 2012,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
rose
significantly
to
nearly
5, 000,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
approximately 1, 000 lower than male participants.

The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a similar trend, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of participants increasing throughout the century. The most significant increase occurred between 1984 and 2012, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
rose from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 6, 000 to over 10, 000 in 2012.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
therefore
, since 1924 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entering
the Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
, has increased
dramatically
. This is
particularly
the case for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
represented in
nearly
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
as male participants.
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IELTS academic Number of male and female participants in the Olympics

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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