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number of boys and girls in sports

number of boys and girls in sports VJg7
The graph depicts the count boys and girls who took part in six different sports held in 2012 in an English town. Boys showed more interest in playing football than any other game and Hockey is least preferred more than any other. While girls recorded the highest count in swimming and least is similar to boys. Overall, the boys played more games than the girls. In tennis, boys exceeded girls by 12. Whereas in Badminton, girls tried to cover the deficit in tennis and crossed boys by touching 40 by placing boys at thirty. Next coming to cycling, girls participated in almost half of the count to boys. In swimming, girls were over the boys by approximately nine games. In Football, boys have participated three times the count of girls. Coming to the last comparison, both boys and girls showed less interest in all the games, yet boys covered more than girls.
The graph depicts the
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count
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boys
and
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girls
who
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took part
in six
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different
sports held in 2012 in an English town.

Boys
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showed
more interest in playing football than any other game and Hockey is least preferred more than any other. While
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girls
recorded the highest
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count
in swimming and least is similar to
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boys
.
Overall
, the
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boys
played more
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games
than the girls.

In tennis,
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boys
exceeded
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girls
by 12. Whereas in Badminton,
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girls
tried to cover the deficit in tennis and crossed
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boys
by touching 40 by placing
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boys
at thirty.
Next
coming to cycling,
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girls
participated in almost half of the
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count
to boys.

In swimming,
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girls
were over the
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boys
by approximately nine
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games
. In Football,
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boys
have participated three times the
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count
of
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girls
. Coming to the last comparison, both
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boys
and
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girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
less interest in all the
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games
,
yet
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boys
covered more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
.
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IELTS academic number of boys and girls in sports

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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