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NEWZEALAND POPULATION DATA

NEWZEALAND POPULATION DATA jD7K1
The graph of birth and death is different in each part of the world and today we are going to discuss about the changes in birth and death rates in Newzealand. In the year 1901 the difference between birth rate and death rate is clearly showing the levels. In year 1921 there is remarkable increase in death rate and decrease in birth rate but over the period of 20 years there is huge spike in birth rate in the year 1941 which is continuously increasing between the year 1961 and 1971. Suddenly due to some factors in the year 1981 there is sharp decline in the birth rate. Since year 2001 death rate increase significantly and by the year 2041 death rate crosses the birth rate. Death rate continues the increase and decline in birth rate is clearly visible in the chart which continues till the year 2101.
The graph of
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birth
and death is
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different
in each part of the world and
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today
we are going to
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discuss about the
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changes
in
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birth
and death
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rates
in
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Newzealand
. In the
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year
1901 the difference between
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and death
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rate
is
clearly
showing the levels. In
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year
1921 there is remarkable increase in death
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rate
and decrease in
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birth
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rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
over the period of 20 years there is huge spike in
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birth
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rate
in the
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year
1941 which is
continuously
increasing between the
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year
1961 and 1971.
Suddenly
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors in the
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year
1981 there is sharp decline in the
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birth
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rate
. Since
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year
2001 death
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rate
increase
significantly
and by the
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year
2041 death
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rate
crosses the
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birth
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rate
. Death
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rate
continues the increase and decline in
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birth
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rate
is
clearly
visible in the chart which continues till the
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year
2101.
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IELTS academic NEWZEALAND POPULATION DATA

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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