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nember of applances and hours spent doing housework from 1920 to 2019

nember of applances and hours spent doing housework from 1920 to 2019 XlmJE
The two line charts illustrate the variations in the percentage of electrical appliances and in the number of hours needed to do housework in a single country over a one-hundred period, from 1920 to 2019. Overall, all the three appliances considered, washing machine, refrigerator and vacuum cleaner experienced a significant growth, though at completely different rates. These trends were negatively correlated with the hours spent doing housework, which fell consistently. First, washing machines, which were the most owned appliances in 1920 (40% of people), had reached the 70% of households by 1960. In more recent years, after a low decrease in 1980, the figures show a slight rise to approximately 73% in 2019. On the contrary, very few people possessed a refrigerator in 1920. However, over a 60-year period, data shows a drastic growth so that 100% of the population owed one of them. Similarly, vacuum cleaners had a steady and considerable rise, from 30% in 1920 to 100% in 2000. Interestingly, probably due to the introduction of these appliances, the number of hours spent doing housework descreased dramatically. From 50 hours per week in 1920 the number had more than halved by 1960 and continued to diminish more recently, reaching 10 hours.
The two line charts illustrate the variations in the percentage of electrical
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appliances
and in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
needed to do housework in a single country over a one-hundred period, from 1920 to 2019.

Overall
, all the three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
considered, washing machine, refrigerator and vacuum cleaner experienced a significant growth, though at completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
rates. These trends were
negatively
correlated with the
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hours
spent doing housework, which fell
consistently
.

First
, washing machines, which were the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
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appliances
in 1920 (40% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
), had reached the 70% of households by 1960. In more recent years, after a low decrease in 1980, the figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a slight rise to approximately 73% in 2019.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
possessed a refrigerator in 1920.
However
, over a 60-year period, data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a drastic growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that 100% of the population owed one of them.

Similarly
, vacuum cleaners had a steady and considerable rise, from 30% in 1920 to 100% in 2000.

Interestingly
,
probably
due to the introduction of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
spent doing housework
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descreased
dramatically
. From 50
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hours
per week in 1920 the number had more than halved by 1960 and continued to diminish more recently, reaching 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
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IELTS academic nember of applances and hours spent doing housework from 1920 to 2019

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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