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line graph represents us some data about recruitment of language

line graph represents us some data about recruitment of language 9wLXW
This line graph represents us some data about recruitment of language_teacher who have only one year experience of teaching during 7 years. The first line shows us this information about French_language teachers which has same percentage as English_language teacher at beginning, the percentages is about 70%. The only reduction of this line is for the first year which is the single year that its percentages is less than the other line. After that it has a little growth and then it remain stable at near 70%, the same amount as beginning part. Next line appertain to other language, English, It falls at first for 2 years till year 2003 which the line stay unchanged at about 40% for 3 years. Then it again start to decrease to about 30%.
This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
graph represents us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
data about recruitment of
In standard English, a word does not contain an underscore character (_). Make sure that the word 'language _ teacher' is correct.
language_teacher
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
experience of teaching during 7 years.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us this information about
In standard English, a word does not contain an underscore character (_). Make sure that the word 'French _ language' is correct.
French_language
teachers which has same percentage as
In standard English, a word does not contain an underscore character (_). Make sure that the word 'English _ language' is correct.
English_language
teacher at beginning, the percentages is about 70%.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reduction of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
is for the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
which is the single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
that its percentages is less than the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
. After that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
growth and then it
Did you mean "remains"?
remain
stable at near 70%, the same amount as beginning part.

Next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
appertain to other language, English, It falls at
first
for 2 years till
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2003 which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "stays".
stay
unchanged at about 40% for 3 years. Then it again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to decrease to about 30%.
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IELTS academic line graph represents us some data about recruitment of language

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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