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Leisure time spend on different activities by people of Someland

Leisure time spend on different activities by people of Someland kW0w2
The table illustrastes that people to of different age groups spent their leisure time on six different activities. Analyzing the data. Teens and people in 70s Spent most of the time on television. which is slightly greater than others. Elder people were uninterested in group exercise as no one spent time in this field. Teenagers and people in their twenties Spend an average 500 hours on Socializing and 350 homs of that time with the group. of more than 4 people. Apart from that, only 50 hours of time spend on individual. exercise by people in their 50s. 40s people spend 25 hours. Overall, watching television was the most preferable activity an which people of Someland Spend the time rather than others
The table
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illustrastes
that
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people
to of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups spent their leisure
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time
on six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities.

Analyzing the data. Teens and
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people
in 70s Spent most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on television.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
is
slightly
greater than others. Elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were uninterested
in group exercise as no one spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in this field.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their twenties
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Spend
an average 500 hours on Socializing and 350
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homs
of that
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time
with the group.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
more than 4
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people
. Apart from that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
50 hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on individual.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
exercise
by
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people
in their 50s. 40s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
25 hours.

Overall
, watching television was the most preferable activity
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
which
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people
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
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Spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
rather
than others

IELTS academic Leisure time spend on different activities by people of Someland

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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