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It's disscription regarding recycling of aluminium can and the process of recycling it

It's disscription regarding recycling of aluminium can and the process of recycling it BlAr6
The diagram illustrate the procedure for recycling aluminium cans. Overall, there are seven different stages and it initiates buy collection of cans and ends by using. To commence with, nearly 74 percentage of used in United kingdom are recycled and it has several steps, such as, Primarily, the canvas be collected for recycling, there are some specific bins for collecting it and are mark as "aluminium cans only". Subsequently, the used cans are collected there and taken to the factory via dumping trucks. Thereafter, the used cans by washing and then are sorted according to various aspects. Following this, jains are shredded and crushed in aspecial machine. Furthermore, the metal are heated under high temperature, so that, can be melted. Moreover, the molten rolled out flat to a thinkness of 2. 5mm to 6mm, depending on what it is used, then aluminium is ready for recycling into new packaging cans, like, soft drink cans. Eventually, cans are recycled and cans are again used by the drinking companies.
The diagram
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "illustrates".
illustrate
the procedure for recycling
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
.
Overall
, there are seven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages and it initiates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
collection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
and ends by using. To commence with,
nearly
74 percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
United kingdom
are recycled
and it has several steps, such as,
Primarily
, the canvas
be collected
for recycling, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific bins for collecting it and are mark as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
Subsequently
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are collected
there and taken to the factory via dumping trucks. Thereafter, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
by washing and then
are sorted
according to various aspects. Following this,
Possible spelling mistake found.
jains
are shredded
and crushed in
Possible spelling mistake found.
aspecial
machine.
Furthermore
, the metal
are heated
under high temperature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can
be melted
.
Moreover
, the molten rolled out flat to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
thinkness
of 2.
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "5 mm"
5mm
to
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "6 mm"
6mm
, depending on what it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, then
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
is ready for recycling into new packaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
, like, soft drink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
.
Eventually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are recycled
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the drinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
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IELTS academic It's disscription regarding recycling of aluminium can and the process of recycling it

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
167 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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