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In some countries, individuals are allowed to do a job for a year, between their high school and university education. Discuss the advantages and disavantages for young people who decide to leave a year and do job.

In some countries, individuals are allowed to do a job for a year, between their high school and university education. Discuss the advantages and disavantages for young people who decide to leave a year and do job. keeke
Nowadays, it is controversial issue that the young adults should get a job after graduated at their high school. Like two sides of the coin, this statement has many benefits but it has certain drawbacks too. In this essay, I will discuss advantages and disadvantage of taking a break from your studies. Looking on the positive side of the coin, taking a gap year bring with two main benefits. Firstly, it gives a person time for introspection. Many people to realize their innermost passions very early in life and some live without knowing what they could have been. That is why a year break is as a perfect boon to dig yourself deeper and find out the real. In this time, those could try what things they interesting with. Not only earn money from getting a part time job in a media agency but also knowing that you suitable with digital marketing job for example. Secondly, it helps individuals to chart out their own definite and unique plan. When they aware of their own strength and weaknesses, they can decide on what course they must take. On the darker side of the coin, a year break can be quite disastrous for those who with no plan about the year. Because of not having particular plan, there are high chances that they get into the wrong path and indulge themselves into alcohol or drugs. Also a few people waste time for entertaining and could not find out what they want to do. Moreover, the importance of university education can get lost in the fight of survival. Often, people forget that the year is a time to find themselves not earn more. In conclusion, I believe that giving a time to figure out about their passion which is necessary for each of us. When young people get a year break, they should certain that have a suitable plan for themselves.
Nowadays, it is controversial issue that the young adults should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job after graduated at their high school. Like two sides of the coin, this statement has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has certain drawbacks too. In this essay, I will discuss advantages and disadvantage of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
from your studies.

Looking on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of the coin, taking a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
bring with two main benefits.
Firstly
, it gives a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for introspection.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to realize their innermost passions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early in life and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without knowing what they could have been.
That is
why a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
is as a perfect boon to dig yourself deeper and find out the real. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, those could try what things
Did you mean "they're interesting", "they are interesting", or "they were interesting"?
they interesting
with. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
earn money from getting a part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
job in a media agency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
knowing that you suitable with digital marketing job
for example
.
Secondly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
individuals to chart out their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
and unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
. When they aware of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
strength and weaknesses, they can decide on what course they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take.

On the darker side of the coin, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
can be quite disastrous for those who with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of not having particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
, there are high chances that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path and indulge themselves into alcohol or drugs.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for entertaining and could not find out what they want to do.
Moreover
, the importance of university education can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lost in the fight of survival.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
forget that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to find themselves not earn more.

In conclusion
, I believe that giving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to figure out about their passion which is necessary for each of us. When young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
, they
The word 'certain' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
should certain
that have a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
for themselves.
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IELTS academic In some countries, individuals are allowed to do a job for a year, between their high school and university education. Discuss the advantages and disavantages for young people who decide to leave a year and do job.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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