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I’m a fan of music, and I’m lively and extroverted, so I often listen to Rap music.

I’m a fan of music, and I’m lively and extroverted, so I often listen to Rap music. Wq2Xe
I am very fond of listening to music. The kind of music that I love is rap. It is a genre of music that tells stories, shares thoughts, and can even make people laugh. I enjoy listening to it because the lyrics are interesting and funny. The beats and sound effects accompany what is being said and have a very powerful effect on listeners. Rap music has become one of the most popular genres in all of recorded history with artists such as Karik, MCK, Den Vau, B Ray topping the charts worldwide. Rap music has been played by people since the ’80s and remains popular. Rap was a genre created by a group of Black adolescents to vent their frustrations towards society at that time. They kept rapping about the injustice they felt towards their community, which was based on poverty and segregation from Whites. It evolved from Community poetry, where poems were narrated over popular beats, which spawned a new sound to black music. When listening to a rap song, the audience can feel a full range of emotions. Is it the romance, the sweetness, the pain of separation. I usually listen to music in my spare time or when I’m not in a good mood. Music helps me dispel feelings of depression. Thanks to music, I feel this life is much more interesting. Sometimes I can find a few friends just because I like the same song. I feel Rap music is great. If you want, I can find some rap songs for you.
I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fond of listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. The kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is rap. It is a genre of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
stories, shares thoughts, and can even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
laugh. I enjoy listening to it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the lyrics are interesting and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
. The beats and sound effects accompany what is
being said
and have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
powerful effect on listeners.

Rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has become one of the most popular genres in all of recorded history with artists such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Karik
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
MCK
, Den
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vau
, B Ray topping the charts worldwide. Rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
been played
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
since the ’80s and remains popular.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Rap
was a genre created by a group of Black adolescents to vent their frustrations towards society at that time. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
rapping about the injustice they felt towards their community, which
was based
on poverty and segregation from Whites. It evolved from Community poetry, where poems
were narrated
over popular beats, which spawned a new sound to black
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. When listening to a rap song, the audience can feel a full range of emotions. Is it the romance, the sweetness, the pain of separation. I
usually
listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in my spare time or when I’m not in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mood.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me dispel feelings of depression. Thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, I feel this life is much more interesting.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
I can find a few friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I like the same song. I feel Rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is great. If you want, I can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rap songs for you.
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IELTS academic I’m a fan of music, and I’m lively and extroverted, so I often listen to Rap music.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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