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How is the Internet helpful?

How is the Internet helpful? xOWy1
It is true that nowadays the Internet has become an essential part in our lives and the ways we get information. I believe that the Internet has a lot of advantages. First of all, the Internet often helps teenagers improve their grades and widen their knowledge. For instance, young people can access it to do research for their schoolwork and homework. Moreover, in the daily life, everything becomes easier by employing the Internet. In fact, people can buy food and services from their home; therefore/thus/hence, people have more time to do their work or relax. To sum up, there are several advantages of using the Internet which has made our life easier in so many ways.
It is true that nowadays the Internet has become an essential part in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and the ways we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information. I believe that the Internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the Internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their grades and widen their knowledge.
For instance
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can access it to do research for their schoolwork and homework.
Moreover
, in the daily life, everything becomes easier by employing the Internet. In fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food and services from their home;
therefore
/
thus
/
hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have more time to do their work or relax. To sum up, there are several advantages of using the Internet which has made our life easier in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
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IELTS academic How is the Internet helpful?

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
116 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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