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Hours per week spent on leisure activities by men and wpmen between the age of 21 and 40

Hours per week spent on leisure activities by men and wpmen between the age of 21 and 40 q6jgp
The pie charts provide infomation and compare the amount of time spent on different leisure ativities by men and women, between the age of 21 and 40, during a week. Overall, it is noticable that there are two the most popular ways to spend free time for both genders- TV and Internet and Leisure at home. In terms of men, almost a half of their leisure time is taken by TV and Intenet (16, 2) and aproximately a qwarter is spent on Leisure at home (8, 6). Eating out, cinema, pubs is nearly as popular as Sociolazing for males (3, 3 and 4, 1 respectively) Sports, walking is the least popular leisure taking only 1, 1 hours a week. According to the chart about women's leisure activities, the amount of time is devided more porpotionally than men's. The most common way of spending free time for females is Leisure at home (10, 6), while TV and Internet takes second place at 9, 2 per week. Sociolazing takes slightly more hours weekly than Eating out, cinema, pubs (6, 1 and 5, 3 respectively), whereas only 1, 9 hours is spent on Sports, walking by women.
The pie charts provide
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infomation
and compare the amount of
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time
spent on
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
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ativities
by
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men
and women, between the age of 21 and 40, during a week.
Overall
, it is
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noticable
that there are two the most popular ways to spend free
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time
for both genders- TV and Internet and
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Leisure
at home. In terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, almost a half of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is taken
by TV and
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Intenet
(16, 2) and
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aproximately
a
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qwarter
is spent
on
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Leisure
at home (8, 6). Eating out, cinema, pubs is
nearly
as popular as
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Sociolazing
for males (3, 3 and 4, 1
respectively
) Sports, walking is the least popular
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leisure
taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1, 1 hours a week. According to the chart about women's
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leisure
activities, the amount of
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time
is
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devided
more
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porpotionally
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's. The most common way of spending free
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time
for females is
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Leisure
at home (10, 6), while TV and Internet takes second place at 9, 2 per week.
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Sociolazing
takes
slightly
more hours weekly than Eating out, cinema, pubs (6, 1 and 5, 3
respectively
), whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1, 9 hours
is spent
on Sports, walking by women.
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IELTS academic Hours per week spent on leisure activities by men and wpmen between the age of 21 and 40

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
194 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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