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Graph depicting percentages of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugars, unhealthy if eaten in excess, Americans at meals

Graph depicting percentages of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugars, unhealthy if eaten in excess, Americans at meals yNNpl
The chart delineates the percentages of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar, which is unhealthy if eaten too much, Americans in meals Overall, the proportions of sodium and saturated fat at dinner constitute the highest figures, while sugar was mostly contained in snacks. To begin with, dinner has highly remarkable percentages of rate in sodium and saturated fat, which are nearly a half for the former and two-fifths for the latter. The figure for sugar at dinner is about 23%. Moreover, the percentages for sugar at snacks is reckoned to be the highest, at exactly 43%. However; those of sodium and saturated fat are pretty low, at about 14% and 21% respectively. Furthermore, the proportions of 3 kinds of nutrients at breakfast are quite similar, ranging from 14% to 16%. Last but not least, lunch provides 29% of sodium and 26% of saturated fat. Lunch also contains less than one-fifth of added sugar.
The chart delineates the percentages of sodium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
, which is unhealthy if eaten too much, Americans in meals

Overall
, the proportions of sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
at dinner constitute the highest figures, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
was
mostly
contained in snacks.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, dinner has
highly
remarkable percentages of rate in sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
, which are
nearly
a half for the former and two-fifths for the latter. The figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
at dinner is about 23%.
Moreover
, the percentages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
at snacks
is reckoned
to be the highest, at exactly 43%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
; those of sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
are pretty low, at about 14% and 21%
respectively
.

Furthermore
, the proportions of 3 kinds of nutrients at breakfast are quite similar, ranging from 14% to 16%. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, lunch provides 29% of sodium and 26% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
. Lunch
also
contains less than one-fifth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
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IELTS academic Graph depicting percentages of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugars, unhealthy if eaten in excess, Americans at meals

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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