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Global sales for Games, Videos and Cds

Global sales for Games, Videos and Cds Ydw85
The graph gives the details about the change in global sales of games software, DVDs and CDs from 2000-2003. In 2000 there is not much demand foe games software and DVDs compared to CDs where it is at the high rate of nearly 35% of the population of which people uses it globally. whereas, in the year 2001 and 2002, the usage of DVD has moderately changed and had reached more than 20%. Considering, the demand for games software has altered below 20%. Overall, 2003 had great demand for DVDs and CDs nonetheless CDs rate had decreased by 2% in 2003, when compared to games software which slightly rose by 7% from 2000-2003.
The graph gives the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in global sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
, DVDs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
from 2000-2003. In 2000 there is not much demand foe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
and DVDs compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
where it is at the high rate of
nearly
35% of the population of which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
uses
it globally.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
, in the year 2001 and 2002, the usage of DVD has
moderately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and had reached more than 20%. Considering, the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
has altered below 20%.
Overall
, 2003 had great demand for DVDs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
nonetheless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
rate had decreased by 2% in 2003, when compared to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "game".
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
which
slightly
rose by 7% from 2000-2003.
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IELTS academic Global sales for Games, Videos and Cds

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
113 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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