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Grange Park: Then and now

Grange Park: Then and now BMB5V
The diagram shows the layout of a public park during its opening and how it looks in the present time. The park is called Grange Park which was established in 1920. Over the course of time, many features of the park have changed. The park can be entered from two sided; from Arnold avenue and Eldon Street. In the initial layout, one would find a fountain straight ahead while entering the park from either side which is now replaced with a rose garden with seating arrangement around it. To the left of the fountain (if entered through Eldon street) was a stage for musicians. It is now modernized and transformed into an amphitheater. There was a glasshouse just right to the Eldon gate and opposite of it was a pond for water plants. None of those exists now. There is children’s area in the place of pond and a water feature in place of glasshouse. There were three rose gardens altogether from which only two remain. One to the right side of the Arnold gate and another in the center of the park. One to the left side of the Eldon gate no longer exists. There is a cafe now. Seating arrangements were available throughout the park but mostly beside the rose garden. But now seating arrangement can be found only in the center of the park. An underground parking facility has also been introduced.
The diagram
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shows
the layout of a public
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park
during its opening and how it looks in the present time. The
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park
is called
Grange
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Park
which
was established
in 1920. Over the course of time,
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many
features of the
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park
have
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changed
.

The
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park
can
be entered
from
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
two sided
; from Arnold avenue and Eldon Street. In the initial layout, one would find a fountain straight ahead while entering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
from either side which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
replaced with a rose garden with seating arrangement around it. To the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of the fountain (if entered through Eldon street) was a stage for musicians. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
modernized and transformed into an amphitheater. There was a glasshouse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
right to the Eldon gate and opposite of it was a pond for water plants. None of those exists
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now
.
Did you mean "There are children"?
There is children
’s area in the place of pond and a water feature in place of glasshouse. There were three rose gardens altogether from which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two remain. One to the right side of the Arnold gate and another in the center of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. One to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side of the Eldon gate no longer exists. There is a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
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now
. Seating arrangements were available throughout the
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park
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but
mostly
beside the rose garden.
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But
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now
seating arrangement can
be found
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the center of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. An underground parking facility has
also
been introduced
.
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IELTS academic Grange Park: Then and now

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
235 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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