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Everybody Should Be Allowed Admission to Universities or College Programs regardless of their Academic Ability

Everybody Should Be Allowed Admission to Universities or College Programs regardless of their Academic Ability awlRP
“Everybody should be allowed admission to university or college programs regardless of their Academic Ability. ” I’m Maheen Faisal and I’m in Grade 10A. It is a known fact that Universities and colleges allow us to specialise in our favorite subject which in turn transform our lives through education and through the wider impact of their research. Higher education has a key role to play in an individual’s career path. It allows the individual to access greater knowledge to the major of their choice. Is it fair that only those with academic abilities are able to cultivate such a prosperous future for themselves? Shouldn’t everybody get a chance to improve their life? Everyone should be given the opportunity to study at university. Grades may show how you did at school, but they fail to show the true capabilities of the student. The capabilities of a student are his or her character, 21st century skills, social and emotional skills and growth mindset. Some may realize soon they want a brighter future, and work hard towards their goals. Even last minute, they should be granted a chance at university study programs. A chance to improve and change. Education is a human right including higher education, no matter their background or capabilities. If someone is willing to take a step forward and learn something there should be no hindrance especially not from the university itself. Since we are building an democratic society where all people are treated equally, giving higher education rights would be necessary to move a step forward towards the goal. In some cases, a student may not have the perfect academic skills but proves to better in practical life or is able utilize their time in university smarter thus leading to a better and brighter future. Universities do look at the extra-curricular activities you have done during your school years. Should not academics be enough? For Example, Harvard University, Most of the students who were admitted because they have something unique that may have nothing to do with your academic ability, but demonstrate that you’re going to add something to the student body they feel is special. Those students come in all shapes and sizes, but the ones the Ivy Leagues tend to look for involve leadership ability and people who focus on what they can bring to the table. Or What do you have to offer that nobody else does? Moreover, as a consequence of this rule. Majority of people would be unemployed due to not having proper education or qualifications, leading to higher crime rate. The Alliance for Excellent Education (2013) has found that a 10% increase in the graduation rate would lead to an estimated 20% decrease in crime rates. If granted admission students can use additional time focusing on their studies and learn to look at the positive perspective of life rather than negative. On the Whole, Education is necessary especially now. Education is is our key to so many doors. University should be another stage for people to search for their potential. Everybody should be able to enter university and search the deeper side of their interest and develop with time, acknowledging the fact they should utilise this time wisely. Academic ability is not all there is so much more to an individual than that. Education should be accessible to all
“Everybody should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college programs regardless of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ability
. ” I’m
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maheen
Faisal and I’m in Grade 10A. It is a known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
and colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialise' is British English.
specialise
in our favorite subject which in turn transform our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and through the wider impact of their research. Higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has a key role to play in an individual’s career path. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the individual to access greater knowledge to the major of their choice. Is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
are able to cultivate such a prosperous future for themselves? Shouldn’t everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life?

Everyone should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Grades may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how you did at school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the true capabilities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. The capabilities of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
character, 21st century
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, social and emotional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and growth mindset.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "realizes".
realize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
they want a brighter future, and work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
towards their goals. Even last minute, they should
be granted
a chance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
study programs. A chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Education is a human right including higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, no matter their background or capabilities. If someone is willing to take a step forward and learn something there should be no hindrance
especially
not from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
itself. Since we are building
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
democratic society where all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are treated
equally
, giving higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
rights would be necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
a step forward towards the goal.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
may not have the perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
proves to better in practical life or is
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'utilize'.
able utilize
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
smarter
thus
leading to a better and brighter future.

Universities do look at the extra-curricular activities you have done during your school years. Should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
?
For Example
, Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
, Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
were admitted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have something unique that may have nothing to do with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
demonstrate that you’re going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
something to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
body they feel is special. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in all shapes and sizes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the ones the Ivy Leagues tend to look for involve leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who focus on what they can bring to the table. Or What do you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
offer that nobody else does?

Moreover
, as a consequence of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
. Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
be unemployed
due to not having proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or qualifications, leading to higher crime rate. The Alliance for Excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
(2013) has found that a 10% increase in the graduation rate would lead to an estimated 20% decrease in crime rates. If granted admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
focusing on their studies and learn to look at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
perspective of life
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

On the Whole
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is necessary
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
our key to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
should be another stage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to search for their potential. Everybody should be able to enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and search the deeper side of their interest and develop with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, acknowledging the fact they should
Do not mix variants of the same word ('utilise' and 'utilize') within a single text.
utilise
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wisely
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
is not all there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much more to an individual than that.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
should be accessible to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
all
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IELTS academic Everybody Should Be Allowed Admission to Universities or College Programs regardless of their Academic Ability

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
555 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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