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estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender, 2000

estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender, 2000 RN06o
The bar graph gives data about the literacy rates of 6 regions by gender based on a statistics gathered on the year 2000. It is observed that South Asian men and women have the highest rate of illiteracy compared to the men and women of developed countries. In detail, record shows that the highest illiteracy rate amounting to an average of 50% are women from the countries of South Asia, Arab States and Sub-Saharan Africa. This results to the conclusion that these countries do not receive the right amount of education for the female population. Meanwhile, about 30% of the men of these countries do not possess the capabilities of reading and writing. On the other hand, East Asia, Latin America and developed countries reported less than a quarter of illiteracy rates. This goes to show that first world countries can afford their people good and quality education, thus the low reports of illiteracy rates among their countries.
The bar graph gives data about the literacy
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rates
of 6 regions by gender based on a statistics gathered on the year 2000. It
is observed
that South Asian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women have the highest
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rate
of
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illiteracy
compared to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

In detail, record
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the highest
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illiteracy
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rate
amounting to an average of 50% are women from the
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countries
of South Asia, Arab States and Sub-Saharan Africa. This results to the conclusion that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not receive the right amount of education for the female population. Meanwhile, about 30% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
of these
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countries
do not possess the capabilities of reading and writing.

On the other hand
, East Asia, Latin America and developed
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countries
reported less than a quarter of
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illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. This goes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
first
world
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countries
can afford their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and quality education,
thus
the low reports of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
among their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS academic estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender, 2000

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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