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Doing sports outside is better thank doing sports inside

Doing sports outside is better thank doing sports inside gqxGa
The place you exercise is probably one of the most important things about it, and it all depends on the person, but we can see different arguments about it. There are people that thinks doing sport outside is much better than inside, specially because of the fresh air. We spend a lot of time inside, working, studying, doing homework, watching television… So at least the moment that we do sport, we should spend it outside, being in contact with the nature and breathing some fresh air. Also it is more enjoyable doing sports on the outside when you are running, climbing or cycling and watching different things while feeling the air in your face but in the inside, looking to a wall, and not reaching any place when you move, it is boring. To finish we got the money, doing sport in the outside is free, bus in the inside, you have to pay for having the place where you can do sport. From the other point of view we have that in the inside is better due to the fact that the weather is a big problem, if it is raining, you could fall down and get wet, if it is very hot you could be tired before than normal, so it has to be perfect. But on the inside whenever you want you can go and do sport because it doesn’t matter how is the weather. Another extra point will be it is much safer as well, because the place have security everywhere and if something happens there’s people around you or cameras that record everything. But I personally prefer doing sports outdoors, I think it is because I’m tired of being all the time inside the classroom or in my house studying and doing homework so when I do sport, I don’t want to be inside anymore.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
you exercise is
probably
one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things about it, and it all depends on the person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
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different
arguments about it.

There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
is much better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
,
specially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the fresh air.

We spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
, working, studying,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
homework, watching television…
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
at least the moment that we do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, we should spend it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
, being in contact with the nature and breathing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fresh air.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it is more enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
when you are running, climbing or cycling and watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things while feeling the air in your face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
, looking to a wall, and not reaching any
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place
when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
, it is boring.

To finish we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the money,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
is free, bus in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where you can do sport.

From the other point of view we have that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
is better due to the fact that the weather is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem, if it is raining, you could fall down and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
wet, if it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hot you could
be tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
than normal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be perfect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
whenever you want you can go and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it doesn’t matter how is the weather.

Another extra point will be it is much safer
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
have security everywhere and if something happens there’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around you or cameras that record everything.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
personally
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
outdoors, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I’m tired of being all the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
the classroom or in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
studying and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
homework
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when I do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, I don’t want to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
anymore.
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IELTS academic Doing sports outside is better thank doing sports inside

Academic
  American English
8 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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