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different kinds of communications that have been used by American teens who aged 12 and 19 between the years 2996 and 2009

different kinds of communications that have been used by American teens who aged 12 and 19 between the years 2996 and 2009 85ODP
The illustrated information in the line chart represents four different kinds of communications that have been used by American teens who aged 12 and 19 between the years 2996 and 2009. Overall, a large number of the teenagers used the text messages to make connections with each other, while sending email was not much popular between them. Although use of text messages had been around 30 percent in 2006, in 2008 it began to increase. However until 2009, it had a significant increase in the number of students with approximately 56 percent. After that, the teenagers used the call phones for having communication and it has not changed too much in the period, from 33 to 30 percent. The third method that was used by the teens was talking face-to face. This had a small increase and fluctuated from approximately 32 to 35 percent in the period. In contrast with other kinds of communications, the lowest percentage belongs to sending email, while it had a small decrease in the period from 15 to 10 percent.
The illustrated information in the line chart represents four
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different
kinds of communications that have been
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used
by American teens who aged 12 and 19 between the years 2996 and 2009.
Overall
,
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a large number of
the
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teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the text messages to
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make
connections with each other, while sending email was not much popular between them. Although
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use
of text messages had been around 30
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percent
in 2006, in 2008 it began to increase.
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However
until 2009, it had a significant increase in the number of students with approximately 56
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percent
. After that, the
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teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the call phones for having communication and it has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
too much in the period, from 33 to 30
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percent
. The third method that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the teens was talking face-to face. This had a
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small
increase and fluctuated from approximately 32 to 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the period.
In contrast
with other kinds of communications, the lowest percentage belongs to sending email, while it had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
decrease in the period from 15 to 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
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IELTS academic different kinds of communications that have been used by American teens who aged 12 and 19 between the years 2996 and 2009

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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