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Differences between countries are becoming less evidents.Nowadays all round the world we see the same films, advertisements, brands and, TV channels. To what extent the disadvantages outweigh the advantages

Differences between countries are becoming less evidents. Nowadays all round the world we see the same films, advertisements, brands and, TV channels. To what extent the disadvantages outweigh the advantages yLXJg
In modern day nations of the world see same films, advertisements, brands and, TV channels. In my opinion, it is useful for people, and advantages prevail over disadvantages, for example, might know things what is occuring in the world, if they see channels of world. On the one hand, showing films, advertisements, brands and TV channels of other countries is positive, but there are negative sides, if secret things what internal conflicts of different nations are showed in channels in everywhere, these countries might damaged. For example, presidential elections, coup d'etats are may be and people see processes, as a result they likely go to bad idea about these countries. Looking at the advertisements, it is not true to showed all brands in the advertisements, because individuals suffer to choose brands and hesitate to buy, if people see all brands. Films. Not all cultures are the same and films are made in the same way as other cultures. People of other nationalities who have seen these films have different opinions. I consider, it is a wrong to show all things (films, advertisements and brands) in channels. On the other hand, see see them benifits for people, for example, people are in harmony with the world, know what is occuring in the world, learn to see films other country cultures. Firstly, if people are in harmony with the world, they worlview likely wide, see technologies what made by people. Consequence people could learn devices how to use. Secondly, nations know things what is occuring in the world, for example, exchange of the prezidents, name of cities, prodution of new vehicles. If people are not ware of these, they likely become sedentary life. Since, neither plans to buy cars, nor is not interested in other countries. Finally, looking at the films, people learn other countries' cultures to see films and know deal how to deal with someone. It teaches us how to deal on the journey. In conclusion, I think, being in harmony with the world is useful and benifits outweigh drawbacks.
In modern day nations of the
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world
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see
same films,
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advertisements
,
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brands
and, TV
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channels
. In my opinion, it is useful for
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people
, and advantages prevail over disadvantages, for
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example
, might
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know
things what is
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occuring
in the
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world
, if they
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see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
of world.

On the one hand, showing films,
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advertisements
,
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brands
and TV
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channels
of
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
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positive
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides, if secret things what internal conflicts of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
in
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channels
in everywhere, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
might damaged. For
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example
, presidential elections, coup d'
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etats
are may be and
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people
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see
processes,
as a result
they likely go to
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bad
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idea
about these
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countries
. Looking at the
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advertisements
, it is not true to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
all
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brands
in the
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advertisements
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
individuals suffer to choose
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brands
and hesitate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
, if
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all
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brands
. Films. Not all
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cultures
are the same and films
are made
in the same way
as
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other
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cultures
.
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People
of
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other
nationalities who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
these films have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions. I consider, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
all things (films,
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advertisements
and
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brands)
in channels.

On the
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other
hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them
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benifits
for
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people
, for
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example
,
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people
are in harmony with the
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world
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what is
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occuring
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
films
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
Firstly
, if
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people
are in harmony with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
worlview
likely wide,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
technologies what made by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Consequence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could learn devices how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Secondly
, nations
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know
things what is
Possible spelling mistake found.
occuring
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, exchange of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
prezidents
, name of cities,
Possible spelling mistake found.
prodution
of new vehicles. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not ware of these, they likely become sedentary life. Since, neither plans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
cars, nor is not interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Finally
, looking at the films,
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people
learn
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other
countries'
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cultures
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
films and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
deal how to deal with someone. It teaches us how to deal on the journey.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, being in harmony with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is useful and
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
outweigh drawbacks.
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IELTS academic Differences between countries are becoming less evidents. Nowadays all round the world we see the same films, advertisements, brands and, TV channels. To what extent the disadvantages outweigh the advantages

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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