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DIAGRAM SHOWS HOW CEMENT AND CONCRETE ARE PRODUCED

DIAGRAM SHOWS HOW CEMENT AND CONCRETE ARE PRODUCED Ll2B1
THESE TWO DIAGRAMS ILLUSTRATE HOW CONCRETE AND CEMENT ARE PRODUCED. THE PROCESS OF MAKING BOTH IS VARIED FROM EACH OTHER. OVERALL, CEMENT ARE MAINLY GENERATE FROM TWO INGREDIENTS NAME LIMESTONE AND CLAY. WHEREAS, CONCRETE IS COMBINATION OF MULTIPLE COMPONENTS. ACCORDING TO FIRST DIAGRAM, PRODUCTION OF CEMENT CONCLUDE MANIFOLD STEPS. FIRSTLY, LIME STONE AND CLAY IS CRUSHED WITH CRUSHER AND FORM A POWDER. THEN, A MIXTURE MIXES ALL THE ELEMENTS TOGETHER. FOLLOWING THIS, MIXTURE IS PASS INTO A ROTATING A HEATER, WHICH IS ADJOINED TO A HEATING TUBE AT THE END. THEN COMES THE GRINDING PART, AFTER GRINDING CEMENT IS FINALLY READY TO BAGGED AND USE. IN CONTRAST, CONCRETE IS MANUFACTURED WITH CEMENT(15%), WATER (10 %), SAND(25%), AND GRAVEL(50%). ALL OF THESE ARE PUT INTO A CONCRETE MIXTURE TO CREATE CONCRETE.
THESE TWO DIAGRAMS ILLUSTRATE HOW CONCRETE AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CEMENT
ARE PRODUCED
. THE PROCESS OF MAKING BOTH
IS VARIED
FROM EACH OTHER.

OVERALL
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CEMENT
ARE
MAINLY
GENERATE FROM TWO INGREDIENTS NAME LIMESTONE AND CLAY. WHEREAS, CONCRETE IS COMBINATION OF MULTIPLE COMPONENTS.

ACCORDING TO
FIRST
DIAGRAM, PRODUCTION OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CEMENT
CONCLUDE MANIFOLD STEPS.
FIRSTLY
, LIME STONE AND CLAY
IS CRUSHED
WITH CRUSHER AND FORM A POWDER. THEN, A MIXTURE MIXES ALL THE ELEMENTS TOGETHER. FOLLOWING THIS, MIXTURE IS PASS INTO A ROTATING A HEATER, WHICH
IS ADJOINED
TO A HEATING TUBE AT THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
. THEN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COMES
THE GRINDING PART, AFTER GRINDING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CEMENT
IS
FINALLY
READY TO BAGGED AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
.

IN CONTRAST
, CONCRETE
IS MANUFACTURED
WITH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CEMENT(15%)
, WATER (10 %), SAND(25%), AND GRAVEL(50%). ALL OF THESE
ARE PUT
INTO A CONCRETE MIXTURE TO CREATE CONCRETE.
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IELTS academic DIAGRAM SHOWS HOW CEMENT AND CONCRETE ARE PRODUCED

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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