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Diagram shows cycle of salmon life

Diagram shows cycle of salmon life gWd0g
The diagram represents salmon’s life cycle. Salmon has 3 main states of life: ‘fry’, ‘smolt’, ‘adult salmon’. In general, salmon is born in upper river where it becomes fry. Then, it swims in lower river, where it grows and becomes smolt. After that, smolt swims into open ocean, where it becomes adult salmon. As it was said, salmon is born in upper river, where stream is generally slow. It is born from salmon eggs, which are typically laid near the small stones, close to lower part of stem of reeds. Fry lives between 5 to 6 months in this location. After that, fish goes to lower river, which has a lot faster stream speed. Fry grows there for approximately 4 years and becomes smolt. Next, smolt swims into open ocean, where it lives for 5 years, and finally becomes adult salmon. After fully growing up, adult salmon goes back to upper river to lay eggs and thus, cycle repeats itsel
The diagram represents salmon’s life cycle. Salmon has 3 main states of life: ‘fry’, ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolt
’, ‘adult salmon’.

In general
, salmon
is born
in upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
where it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
fry. Then, it swims in lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
, where it grows and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolt
. After that,
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolt
swims into open ocean, where it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
adult salmon.

As it
was said
, salmon
is born
in upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
, where stream is
generally
slow. It
is born
from salmon eggs, which are
typically
laid near the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones, close to lower part of stem of reeds. Fry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 5 and 6".
between 5 to 6
months in this location. After that, fish goes to lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
, which has a lot faster stream speed. Fry grows there for approximately 4 years and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolt
.
Next
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolt
swims into open ocean, where it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for 5 years, and
finally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
adult salmon. After
fully
growing up, adult salmon goes back to upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
to lay eggs and
thus
, cycle repeats
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
itsel

IELTS academic Diagram shows cycle of salmon life

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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