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An average of using energy in some terms of Australian families is showed in the first pie chart, followed by the proportion of thr greenhouse gas emissions as a result in the rest chart.

An average of using energy in some terms of Australian families is showed in the first pie chart, followed by the proportion of thr greenhouse gas emissions as a result in the rest chart. nXy9R
An average of using energy in some terms of Australian families is showed in the first pie chart, followed by the proportion of thr greenhouse gas emissions as a result in the rest chart. It is noticeable that heating and water heating are two types having the most using. However, only water heating makes up the highest proportion of gas emission and the second is other appliances. Australian use 40% of energy in heating and 30% in water heating. While the pecentage of lighting and cooling just stand at below 5%, the figure of other appliances is higher at 15%. Even though energy use of heating is the highest, its emissions is far less likely about two times. Exhausting produced by cooling and water heating conduct approximately similar numer of using energy. Figure for others release more than twice consumption, followed by lighting at 8%, refrigeration at 15% and other appliances at 28%
An average of using
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energy
in
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some
terms of Australian families is
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showed
in the
first
pie chart, followed by the proportion of
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thr
greenhouse gas emissions
as a result
in the rest chart.

It is noticeable that
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heating
and
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water
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heating
are two types having the most using.
However
,
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only
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up the highest proportion of gas emission and the second is
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other
appliances.

Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
40% of
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energy
in
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heating
and 30% in
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
. While the
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pecentage
of lighting and cooling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stand at below 5%, the figure of
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other
appliances is higher at 15%.

Even though
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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heating
is the highest, its emissions is far less likely about two times. Exhausting produced by cooling and
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
conduct approximately similar
Possible spelling mistake found.
numer
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. Figure for others release more than twice consumption, followed by lighting at 8%, refrigeration at 15% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
appliances at 28%

IELTS academic An average of using energy in some terms of Australian families is showed in the first pie chart, followed by the proportion of thr greenhouse gas emissions as a result in the rest chart.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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